Unions

(The Bearcat painting a wall with red brush is a registered trademark of UC and faclities management of the University of Cincinnati. I have altered the image slightly so as to not get fired.)

The DAAP building is getting a new fresh coat of paint today. Eisenman’s giant exploded baby shower cake of a structure is starting to take on the visage of it’s old self with fresh layers of awful colors and a complete removal of any signs of life. I look at the structure as a memorial to learning, each hallway was carefully designed to make you lost, confused, and sheepishly give up. But no one can see you give up, because if you turn around and walk the other way everyone around you decides that is just how you get to the bathroom on the sixth floor.

But with a fresh coat of baby blue and pinkish-desaturated bubble gum comes a torment of wet paint signs. These posters contain the phantom bearcat with red brush in hand on a rampage through the city, ready to scare small children as he attacks the walls of their bedrooms with snarled mouth.

Personally I love these stupid posters, but they are everywhere, and no one is taking them down five days after the paint is dry. Last quarter at the school I volunteered to repaint a room that had grown gray from flying charcoal. I was informed by the building’s super that no one could paint the walls of any surface in this building because of the painter’s union. I asked how much it costs to paint a single room and no one could tell me. First the Forman would have to come out and inspect the room personally to give me an estimate, and then we could negotiate and then I would be mailed a formal quote, or some such nonsense. I honestly was too shocked that I wasn’t allowed to work to help the school that employed me. With that in mind I would like to suggest that we establish a wet paint sign removal union. After each paint application on campus we would inspect the still taped walls and scattered signage to determine a fair and just quote. Once a number is agreed upon we can bring in the equipment to begin the difficult process of removing tape from walls without peeling off the fresh paint, and pick up the signage while only dry wiping the floor. If we have to mop the floor we will need to renegotiate the deal. If one of the painters happened to tape the image to the floor an emergency override can be authorized and we can Windex the masking tape residue off the floor careful not to over spray onto non-wipe-able areas of the building.